Mining Gold & Polishing Silver
A very long time ago I was a Girl Scout, technically a Brownie. I wasn’t very good at it. I felt anxious selling the cookies and I wasn’t interested in camping. But I took two important lessons away from my brief period wearing that ugly vest with primary colored badges:
1. Leave a place better than you found it
2. Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold
Growing up as an Army brat my mom would often remind me of the truth in that little Girl Scout jingle. The military also provided ample opportunities to leave places, so the first bit of advice came in handy too.
As a kid I met each move with mixed emotions. It often seemed that just when I was getting settled into a community of friends it was time to trade them in due to a new assignment in another state, sometimes continent. When I felt my lowest about moving Mom would remind me that we would make new friends in the next place; and the ones we would leave behind are just someplace different, not gone for good. As a side note, it was not uncommon in the Army for assignment paths to cross, reconnecting friends on a different corner of the map. In those situations you pick up right where you left off. Mom would remind me that each move was an opportunity to meet someone new– more jewels for the treasure chest.
In the past week I had the privilege of reconnecting with two golden friends. One I had not seen for a year since her move across the country, the other is an Army connection that I have known since I was eight years old but hadn’t seen in almost a decade. Turns out we live 30 minutes away. What was amazing about both encounters was it felt like no time had passed since the last time we hung out.
The topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot lately. I have the privilege of standing with a childhood friend as a bridesmaid this fall in her wedding. I will be walking down the aisle with several other women I’ve known since 7th grade. It doesn’t seem that long ago we were jumping on the trampoline in the dead of winter wearing three layers of socks and begging our parents to drop us off at the mall.
I had a girlfriend from high school visit earlier this month with her two kids. We took our children to the park and talked about parenting struggles. It feels like it was only a few months back that we spent evenings speculating whom we would end up marrying. Life moves quickly.
Since moving to Nashville in 2013 I have developed an even keener awareness of the importance of relationships. Shortly after moving here we had a major health crisis with our daughter and more than ever needed community. The amazing thing is that when we reached out multiple hands reached back to pull us up.
A person from church I had met only a few times came and sat with me at the hospital while Alex had to attend to matters at home. Food was prepared and left by hands we had not yet had the privilege to shake. Prayer requests shot out across 30 countries. We went from being new in town to having a town full of friends.
Through our crisis we forged relationships with people we would never have known without our vulnerability and desperation. These friends were truly a silver lining to our blackest cloud. While local folks came around us in a profound way, old friends surrounded us with messages, calls and prayers. So many relationships that had gone dormant with the business of life reemerged and picked back up from where we parted ways.
Life has normalized a good deal since 2013. But one of the biggest lessons that has remained with me since that experience is remembering the crucial importance of creating community and staying connected. To my friends, new and old, I say thank you! I pray I can be even a small portion the companion and comrade you have been to me.
To those reading this that, like me, find their days taken up by so many little things that keep them from making a call or grabbing a coffee, I want to encourage you to open the treasure chest to rediscover the gold and polish the silver in your life. Never get so busy you justify a solitary existence. Never let the passage of time be a reason for not reconnecting with an old friend. Never allow fear or pride to be a reason for not reaching out to a new one.
